When Mothering is Hard and No One Sees
Somewhere, in a house with walls and a roof very similar to the place you and I call home, there is a mother who wonders if she’s seen.
She wakes to a squalling baby, crying to nurse, or an older child (or two or four) demanding breakfast. She’s barely wiped the sleep from her eyes and has yet to pour a cup of coffee before diapers need to be changed and the dog must be let out.
Her job, nay her calling, begins before her feet even hit the floor. There is no commute to the office, no clocking in for motherhood. There is breakfast to tend, lunch boxes to pack, backpacks to gather. Urine-soaked sheets need stripping; there are dishes in the sink, and a pile of laundry litters the closet floor.
This isn’t a glamorous role, and no one is applauding her this morning.
This is a mom who wipes fevers from brows, tears from cheeks and blood from skinned-up knees. She sweeps crumbs from crevices and brushes hair from eyes. She chauffeurs, she cooks, she cleans. She scrubs stains from pant legs and mends broken hearts. She’s an encourager, a truth speaker, a life giver. She corrects, she counsels, she directs.
She does the hard work, the mundane tasks, and most of the time, she does it all without an eye to see. And sometimes she wonders if anyone notices.
I know that mom, maybe you do too. She’s me, and I have a feeling she might be you.
This calling of motherhood is a service unlike anything else, where the privilege of giving life is tempered by a daily dying to self. It’s the very nature of motherhood. Sometimes I do it well, and sometimes I do it poorly. Sometimes I meet my children’s needs with grace and humility, and then other times I look in the mirror and see ugly, selfish pride staring right back. Sometimes this laying down of self is affirmed by slobbery kisses, vice-like hugs and countless “I-love-you-to-the-moon-and-back” sentiments, and other times I feel as though it’s all in vain.
Does anyone see the hands that tend this family? The quiet kiss atop the head after they’ve fallen asleep? The never-ending grocery list? The dog hair swept off the floor day in and day out. Does anyone see? Does anyone notice? Is their any appreciation?
And then that still small voice … GOD sees. El Roi, the name Hagar gave to God when He saw her after she’d fled into the desert, pregnant and alone … He sees. And the name God gave her son? Ishmael … which means God hears.
When the days drag on monotonous; when the mundane tasks veil the miracle of your calling—this incredible privilege of raising little humans to know Him and serve Him—God is there in the midst of it all, hearing, seeing YOU.
He notices this service of motherhood, this dying of self to tend the needs of your children. The middle-of-the-night sheet strippings, the early-morning wakings, the 297th peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich, the fear of failure, the anguish over a child’s mistakes, the worn-out prayer knees, the can’t-take-one-more-hour-of-the-exhaustion/whining/disobedience tears … He sees it all.
He sees when you sit and when you rise. He perceives your thoughts from afar. He discerns your going out and your lying down. He is familiar with all your ways. (Psalm 139) He SEES you. And He whispers to the depths of your tender, parched soul: see this hard stuff? This laying down of your life for the children I’ve gifted you? This is worship in action.
The day-in-day-out constancy of a mother’s service is time camped out in the refiner’s fire. It’s a losing of our life so that we may find it; it’s a daily laying down of our self only to discover that God resurrects!
Dear friend, you are doing hard work, dirty work, tedious work. Work not seen or applauded by many. But you are doing the most important work, the highest calling. You are raising a generation. And in the midst of that sacred work, God sees.
“For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it.” (Matthew 16:25)
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UPDATE, 2.12.2014: My dear friends, if only you could know how your response to this post has encouraged me! Your comments here, on Facebook, on Instagram and elsewhere have touched me deeply; some have even moved me to tears. While I simply cannot reply personally to each comment (I wish I could!), please know that I read EVERY.SINGLE.ONE! You all are a beautiful community of encouragement and support to me and to one another. May the Lord continue to bless you in this incredible calling of motherhood!
UPDATE, 10.4.2014: Please, oh PLEASE hear me out, friends … this post is for ALL moms, working or stay-at-home, married or single. If you’re a mom, this is for YOU! Some commenters have thought this post is specifically dedicated to stay-at-home moms … it’s not! The point of the language in this post is that there is no clocking in for the role of motherhood; you don’t get to leave motherhood at the office. Motherhood is a round-the-clock, 24/7 day-in, day-out job, whether you’re working or stay-at-home. Honestly, it saddens me that the argument is even broached here. So please, take your stay-at-home or working mom comments elsewhere. This is not the place for them. If you’d like my thoughts on that topic, click here.
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This is such a great post! Thank you for this 🙂
Smiles,
Amy
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Thank you, Amy!
This is so my life and daily struggles too! This and the balance of guilt for not being as wifely as time and energy used to allow as well as the feelings of self loathing and slight resentment when the body in the mirror in no way resembles the pre-baby form:(. No time to exercise, no energy anyways…..no change in sight…..no clothes fit….but then a new day with sweet smiles lures you in to the real reason you are here!
I hear you, Ivy! The bitterness can often well up when the exhaustion takes its toll, the work never ends, and the pants don’t fit the same. But you love those sweet boys well, and you are doing the hard stuff with grace!
LOVE IT…..
Thank you, Judy!
Thank you!
You are welcome! So glad it was encouraging!
When my husband comes home from work I find myself telling him all the things I did to keep the baby alive and the house from not burning down. I’m looking to him for credit.
God sees.
Thank you.
I can definitely relate!! Thanks for sharing your heart!! 🙂
Beautiful. “This is worship in action.” The words God meant most for my heart through your post. Thank you for sharing.
A very good friend posted this on her FB…. I need this so much as I am a Divorced Single Parent of 2 Teenage daughters that thru the divorce became pregnant…. They both live with me full time… 3 weeks ago I lost my job in a layoff & I just got back from CT to lay my father to rest!!!
Does anyone see all I do… ABSOLUTELY GOD DOES, thru all this pain, turmoil & countless hours of helping my girls now become young mothers I remain faithful that God is by my side… Monday my oldest daughter goes back to school & I have to take care of 2 infants (4 & 1 month) but not to worry God is by my side… HE IS SAYING THAN YOU PAUL GOOD JOB & HOLD MY HAND FOR STRENGTH!!!!
Thanks for this great post!!!
Paul, thank you for your comment! That God would use my words to encourage you is such a humble privilege. I will be praying for you during this time! May you know now more than ever that God sees all you do, and He is your source of strength, your sustainer, your help and your rest. God bless you!
Wow, you said this so well!! What a great reminder that what we do as moms, behind the scenes, really DOES matter!
Much respect to moms everywhere! Been there done that, and know women who do it all while going to college and holding down a part time or full time job it’s tough but can be done 🙂
Thank you for this, as a mom of 4, sometimes you need some encouragement, and for someone to remind you that you are doing this for a Greater Purpose. I appreciate it.
🙂 …and somewhere in her life is a man who preaches we each should waken by 8:00 a.m., to be sure we can pray before we start the day.
Right? 🙂
Loved this.
Always thought there could be a demand for an overnight sitter who just did the diaper and brought the babe to the mom. Just for a night or two, now and then. As a business, it could be called “Mom’s Night IN”.
Wouldn’t that make a great shower gift!
Thank you for this post! Well said.
I love the quote by Andy Stanley – that “the greatest contribution to God’s kingdom may not be something you do – but someone you raise”! I needed to hear that! 🙂
My heart is aching for my kids today – for their many struggles. I keep reminding myself that they are “just working on their testimony”! 🙂 God is good . . . all the time . . . and He DOES see all that we do as moms! Feeling alone, invisible, unappreciated, and more – is so common for moms, and your encouraging words today I know will bless many!
Keep it up! Moms need to hear that someone sees and knows . . . and that others can relate! 🙂
Abundant blessings!!
Lori 🙂
Mom of 5 blessings!
This is going to be read to open the first meeting of the single mom’s group at my church. When you mentioned Hagar I got chills. I hope they will all benefit from the hope in your words as I just did! Thank you!
Melanie, your comment nearly brought me to tears. I am humbled that God is using my words. May those sweet mamas at your church know that their sacred work of raising children never goes unseen!
Thank you for this message I needed this
Excellent, I can so relate. Just explored similar concepts at:
http://www.Pinkbowdiaries.wordpress.com
I had a friend send this to me and I’m so fortunate she did. I’ve recently struggled with the thought of possibly losing my own identity while building those of my family. I am blessed to be raising my children currently full time and truthfully I needed this. I needed to hear that even though I don’t have a paying job or a place where I’m publicly making a name for myself that I am still 100% making a difference in raising my gifts from God. Thank you… graciously and humbly… thank you!
Lea W., you are doing the most difficult job in the world, but the most important one by far! I raised my girls full time and wouldn’t have missed a minute of their lives. I’m 60 now and they are grown and married and are my best friends. God is so good! All the time.
Thank you for this article. I needed after a very long day of butting heads with my four year old son who for the live of me would not listen or obey all day. Today is one of those day when I lost the battle with my flesh. Thank you for reminding me how precious my gifts from God are and how I am making a difference though there are days like today.
Being a pastor’s wife and a SAHM, this resonated so profoundly in my heart. Some days it feels like all I do is give until there is absolutely nothing left. We live so far from our families and I just feel totally alone and overwhelmed sometimes. It’s so easy to focus on the bad days, the overwhelming moments, and the hard times. It’s so easy to forget that we aren’t alone and that we have the most loving, invested Helper in our Heavenly Father. Thank you for this reminder!
My children are all older now (10-16). But when all four of them were small, and the overwhelming needs of my two autistic sons were ever-present, I needed encouragement. I wanted someone (my husband) to notice my “sacrifice”. I had a friend who constantly reminded me to take it to the Lord. I felt a bit silly, but I began to say, “Lord, did you see this day? Are you proud of me? Do you still love me after that big mess-up?”. It was a great lesson in God Always Sees. Thank you for this beautifully written, God-centered piece.
If only I could go back in time, I’d do it all over again.
You so eloquently spoke the truth of motherhood. “God is there in the midst of it all, hearing, seeing YOU.” I also love, “This is worship in action.” Thank you so much for encouraging us mothers when we think we’re unseen.
After pulling the third all nighter in a row with my 5 month old and then working all day and coming home to keep a 4 1/2 year old and baby entertained this was exactly what I needed. Your blog totally reminded me that prayer is what will help me get through the tough nights and days that seem to be stacking up lately…I often forget that God sees and will listen anytime I need him to and instead have a mini meltdown in the middle of the night right along with my baby. Thank you for your beautiful words.
I wish I could write as well as you but on the flip side…… When the mothering is done, when you kind of feel put out to pasture. When your body starts to let you down, but your brain and your heart are as strong as ever. You know the hard, the hardest of work that you’ve done to raise your family and kind of wonder if you children will ever realize it. I have a wonderful family and loving husband of 36 years. I have five grandchildren who are the beats of my heart……. But I often wonder…….
I really needed this. I am a mother of 2 wonderful children who are 16 months apart and I don’t get much help from my husband or anyone. I’m only 20 but this has spoken volumes to me, so I thank you very much
So, so great! Such wonderful words and beautiful quotes!! Touched me and will speak to so many! Thank you!
This was beautiful. I needed this as I face another aspect of motherhood that no one tells you about. Loneliness. I have six children, ages 16 down to 5. The last one is in full day kindergarten now. (not by my choice, it’s the only option our district has.) Many people talk about all that you described, ie. the never ending laundry and dishes and unseen acts of service that we give hourly. What no one told me was that after 16 years of having constant little companions, after years of being with them all day, that when that last child went to school I would experience heart breaking loneliness. Days filled with an empty house, no joyful noises, no boo boo’s to kiss better. And I still feel like my calling is to be a stay at home mom. So there is no job to fill the quiet hours. We just moved to where we are 8 months ago and so there are no long time friends to do things with. I don’t even know if that would help. So after much of the day to day struggles disappear, after every one is potty trained and can get themselves ready in the morning, there are still so many sacrifices that we continue to make. I use to be irritated when “older” women would tell me to enjoy it while I can. I thought that they must have forgotten how hard it was, or that they had never experienced 4 children under the age of 6. But really, they were imparting to me wisdom that I couldn’t understand until I lived it myself. And now that some of the day to day struggles are easier, I realize that I did enjoy it. Every moment, every struggle, simply because I see now how fast it goes. My oldest has two years left at home. Two years before I don’t talk to her every day. Only two years before I don’t hear the sounds of her getting ready in the morning, or see her doing her homework at the kitchen table. And because of that older child, I look at my sweet little 5 year old and know that I will blink and she will be 16 too. So I needed to know today that God is aware of the second phase of motherhood sacrifice. And I will need to know again when the last one leaves home and I experience the next phase. And yes, I have had all the advice of getting hobbies, meeting friends for lunch, volunteering in their schools. So let me restate, I am not bored. I am lonely for my children. I am not lonely for other people. I am lonely for the 6 little souls that I helped bring into this world. I live for after school, and vacations and summer. And I have prayed A LOT lately to have my sacrifice be acknowledged. It may be years before my children ever understand what I gave to them. But thanks to your beautiful reminder, I know that my Father in Heaven is aware of me every day.
Oh, my, how I feel your heart! I have four kids, oldest is now 16 and youngest (my baby) will be 11 tomorrow. Though my kids are still with me because I homeschool, they don’t “need” me anymore. Though I grew weary at the endless flashcards and reading lessons, I now find I miss them! They are so very independent now! But, the lesson here is still the same for us, is it not? Take it to the Lord, for HE SEEs! He sees the loneliness, the searching for purpose, the loss of littles underfoot. He Sees. He knows, He understands. “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future.” Jer. 29:11. Let us take heart in His timing. He tells us that He will continue a good work in us! Yay! He’s not done yet 🙂
Thank you so much for the encouragement, a good friend shared your blog with me on Facebook. I needed to hear this at this very instant, I am struggling with the selfish mama I see staring back at me in the mirror – then the next minute I am in compete awe of the unbelievably rich blessing it is to watch my baby boy grow, and raise him in a way that honors my Father. May He continue to use you for His glory!!
Shalene, thank you for such a beautiful piece. It is such an encouragement for moms of littles everywhere. When my girls were little, there were no blogs. Heck, we didn’t have internet til my 2nd was born. I suffered from post-partem, I had an extremely strong-willed first-born with some special needs, and my husband was gone most of the time to support us so I could stay home. None of my friends were in the same place. I felt invisible and so alone. Even though it was such a tough time, it was this struggle that started my search for what was “missing” and ultimately finding Jesus! It makes my heart so happy that you put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard 😉 ) when you were inspired to write this. I cannot imagine how many women you have lifted up and given hope.
I really needed this. Thank you.
Thank you!!!
I’m a brand new sahm with a sweet, sweet 6 month old. This spoke straight to my soul.
Another sexist article. Why can’t it be badged parenthood instead?
You certainly have a point. The concept goes both ways. God sees all the stresses and sacrifices of parenting be they from a mother or father. Thanks for the comment.
As a Christian father, I say don’t give into the pseudo-outrage of people like “Full-Time Dad” above. If he doesn’t like the fact that this is written by a mother from a mother’s perspective, then let him go write a blog of his own about all things “parenthood” and “full time daddy.” I honestly believe that one of the most annoying things in the world is someone ruining an otherwise wonderful thing by the expression of their outlandish faux outrage.
Full-Time Dad, from one man to another: Man up, suck it up, and turn off The View, bro. You’re modeling that weird feminist behavior where you’re running around demanding equal rights at ridiculous times, like on a blog post specifically about motherhood!
As a father, I appreciate this article because I know for a fact it describes my wife’s day-to-day life. It also reminds me that I, as a full-time minister, have the easier job of the two of us.
Hey now full time dad, no one took credit away or said only mothers not fathers. Read it for what it is instead of making negative remarks. I was a single dad for the first 6 years of my boys life. I know what the writer was saying and I love the message because I know it could have been for me too. Praise a good writer and message, don’t rip her. Thank you for this piece. My wife showed it to me and I absolutely loved it. Parents are superheroes in their own right! Keep up the good work!
And though even the greatest of humanly fathers can not understand a mothers role nor a mother understand theirs, the Father can because he has toiled, and cried, and sacrificed, and is the ultimate parent to us…His children. Thank you for the words of encouragement.
Love this post!
My most treasured title, mom, and lately I feel SO spent and invisible! My faith gets me through and I know God has manifested himself in your words! I pray God will continue to inspire you and that you will continue to share that inspiration!
This is my life! Day in & day out!! I loved reading this knowing someone else feels like I do!!! I love my kids, but they are exhausting!!! Prayers being sent to you and all the other moms out there!! 🙏
This is part of the job description of a worthy widow which reminds me that one day, this bringing up will end and as my husband says “We’re gonna miss this!”:
1 Timothy 5:10
Well reported of for good works; if she have brought up children, if she have lodged strangers, if she have washed the saints’ feet, if she have relieved the afflicted, if she have diligently followed every good work.
This was so perfect for me right now! Thank you ❤️
This is a blessing to be reminded of. Thank you for sharing, ♡♡♡
I’m sitting here openly sobbing in my desk chair. I needed this so badly today.
Thank you.
Loved it!
Thank you thank you. I see my need for grace and mercy from God the most in my role as mother. May His strength be evident in my weakness.
So grateful for you encouraging words! I’m currently raising my third, late-in-life blessing who is also autistic and non-verbal. So we can’t communicate as with my other two grown typical children. Being reminded of the Christ-like role of laying down my life for my son spurs me on.
It feels like a big hug from God. Thank you and praise Him!!
Great article…eventho mine are all grown up with children od their own, I remember those days. God bless every Mommy that doesn’t think anyone sees!
Thank you for this bit of encouragement. This is my season and dying to self is my daily thorn. Being reminded why and for Whom makes it all worth it again.
Thank you for the encouragement….as a SAHM of 4, 5,4 and 2 year old twins….I find myself wondering why do I do this day in day out. Yesterday was one of those really bad days…..all 6 of us hit with the stomach flu while my husband was stuck at work.
Thank you for the encouragement. Being home with little ones is so hard sometimes, this was a needed reminder!
SAHM of 2 and a 3 year old. Husband works 12-14 hr night shifts and we have one car. I’m stuck in with the kids day in and out doing exactly as you say in this article. I cry and laugh then laugh and cry some more. Thank you so much for your timely words of wisdom. Thank you for being obedient to God. I was feeling like no one cared…and I found this.
Tears flowing, heart swelling, such words of truth and encouraging love and beauty. Thank you! Thank you.
Lovely article. Women so need this encouragement, especially now as it seems the culture continues to devalue the virtues in women you so well described. I’ve birthed and raised 7 children, and I am grateful for this opportunity and experience. Nothing in my life has educated me more than being a mother and observing all that comes with it. I didn’t go into marriage thinking this way, as I had no life experience with children. Dr. James Dobson, on his radio program was a huge encouragement for me while in the thick of learning how to raise my children, he offered direction, guidance and appreciation for what mothers do. Though my hard work seemed unappreciated by my family seemingly often, I know the Lord appreciated my efforts.
This is a beautiful essay, and I wish I had this when my kids were little and I was in this job full time. But now my sons’ wives are and I am so thankful that God sent this love letter to my girls. He does see their hard work and He will honor their love with rewards only He can give! Ladies – never give up on your children! God loves them even more than you do!
I want to follow f&c.
Nancy, I would love for you to follow! Beneath my bio photo on the right side of the page, there is a search box, and beneath that search box is a place for your e mail. If you’d like to follow, just enter your e mail and then hit “I Want to Follow F&C.” So blessed to have you here!
This made me cry. I’ve wondered what in the world I’m doing from time to time. Thank you for the reminder that motherhood is sacred and so very important!
Oh my goodness. Thank you so much for that! I’m a working mom whose youngest is now a senior in high school. He is counting the days to graduation… and Army basic training. All you have said is so very true and I just want to add that the sacrifice of motherhood will not end when they are grown and “out of the nest”. With tears in my eyes, I feel like I am facing some of my most difficult sacrifices as I send my baby out to serve our country. His service is truly noble, but it is also the sacrifice of a Mother who will spend even more time on her knees than ever before. God bless and keep you.
hank you! Thank you so much for the encouragement!! There are many days when I feel like no one sees all that is done in the day. I have been blessed with being able to be a stay at home mom to my son, who is 10 months now. I wouldn’t change it for anything, and yet appreciation every now and then would feel good. All I can say, is that I get a lot of appreciation from my little guy…pats on the back, hugs, smiles, laughs, snuggles, and now kisses. I sometimes, seems to happen a lot more lately, forget that God is watching and he knows and understands. Thank you!
Very touching. The title alone brought me to tears. I do feel compelled to say that working moms experience this too. We’re not less of a mom or worse of a mom because we work. I work – though not willingly – and have all these same feelings/experiences/struggles etc. but by golly I have just enough confidence to know that I’m a good mom regardless.
Absolutely! Working moms bear the same burdens, the unseen sacrifices!
I’m writing this with tears streaming down my face while I rock a baby to sleep. Thank you so much for writing this. I truly feel God used you to speak to me in this very moment. I really needed to read this right now.
I am a mommy of three ages 9, 5 and 4! Two boys 9 & 4 and my princess age 5! I also am a full time special education teacher of 4th 5th and 6th grade emotional behavioral students! I adore my babies and love my job whole heartedly! However, I very often get overwhelmed with the workload! My desire is to be more thankful of my blessings and to realize that some do not have the blessing of packing little lunch boxes or bath time. I also pray that I will tolerate more of the ball bouncing even in the house and the cartwheels in the living room:). Your blog was exactly what I needed and I truly thank God for you and your thoughts that u shared! Bless u!!!!
This is lovely and clearly encouraging to many. But I can’t help but feel left out by this description of the calling of motherhood. The picture painted is of someone who is home full time.
Emily, that’s the picture painted, only because I was writing from my own personal experience. But the sacrifices of motherhood aren’t defined by working or stay-at-home boundaries. No matter a mother’s “full- time job,” whether she works outside the home or not, she makes selfless sacrifices for her children on a daily basis that often go unseen by any other human eye. So this post … it’s for you too, friend!
Thank you, you are lovely.
I am tired I am weary being the mother of a nearly 40 year old with mile disability my eldest a heaven Child Grace would have been 39 a down syndrome daughter nearly 30 a 25 year old nurse a 11 year old angel grandchild I have raised since birth anothe Angel grandson aged 10 with ADHD and a 9 year old baby girl I picked up from hospital I am starting to feel ward old and tired . This message picked me up let me see my worth and let me know how much my job as a mum is truly amazing it it’s own right and I will go on!!!!
Thank you
From a tired mum
That my words would encourage you is a humble privilege! God bless you and the work you are doing!
You have no idea how much I needed this tonight. I have been having so many issues with my daughter when is just shy of 3. I am currently hiding out from everyone because I just feel like a failure. I feel like nothing I do is good enough and like my daughter is going to head down the path that I was graced with as a young child… being bullied. I just kept thinking to myself tonight “who can I talk to?” I need an outlet for my grief and someone who can help me find a new approach for helping her grow and you said it.. “Good sees….. God hears.”. You may never truly know how important it was for me to see this today but I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart and may God bless you.
Thank you, Casey! Praying for you!
Shalene…this is so beautiful. I am deeply touched this morning here in India by the language of your heart. Thank you.
Thank you, Julie! Thank you!
Wow. It’s 11:30pm, and I just finished mopping..floors, that tomorrow, will be dirty again. Sometimes, in the monotony of motherhood we need this reminder. Thank u for this!
I would like to follow!
Suzie, I would love for you to follow! Beneath my bio photo on the right side of the page, there is a search box, and beneath that search box is a place for your e mail. If you’d like to follow, just enter your e mail and then hit “I Want to Follow F&C.” So blessed to have you here!
I really needed to read this tonight. Thank you.
I want to follow F&C to up coming blogs.
This is for young mothers here, but remember those of us that have raised them to adults and now they are all gone on with their lives only leaving a quiet memory of the rowdy days for me to remember. Then, for some strange, unknowing reason, the three blessed girls of mine ignore me and now for years won’t even contact to see if I’m even alive. All the many laughs of making cookies that came out hard as rocks, the trying again and having the cookies win in the county fair. Teaching them to work hard not just in the kitchen and sewing, but remodeling an old farmhouse, stripping paint from hand made cabinets, refinishing old wood floors, helping to hang the sheetrock and paint their bedrooms. The hot, summer swims in the creek. Horseback riding, gardening, teaching them to sew, to cook, to love critters that God has given us. The three most beautiful girls a mother could have, drifted away in a gossiping world of deceit and criticism of a mother that loves them. The many nights I went to their room to touch their sleeping head and pray for them now left to touch a picture and still pray for them. The beautiful eight grandchildren they won’t let me see but will accept gifts I mail, but still no communication, not even a thank you or hello. My heart had broke many a time. The counsel I received from the Asst. Pastor because my grief became unbearable to even not wanting to live, was to “Let go and let God”. I was angry at the Pastor for two weeks for telling me to let them all go, but God worked in my heart and I’ve let them go. I did what I could and did my best to be the best mother I could. The world is wicked and hard, turning hearts into a stone cold, judgmental, gossiping death of precious mother and daughter bond. I don’t understand the reason why but God has certainly worked in my life. I move forward everyday, trying hard to be the daughter God wants me to be to Him. One day, and I pray soon, they will see the bitterness that has consumed them and move toward God and His desire. And when they do, I know they will love me again as they used to love me when they were young. I’m not the only mother that has gone through this horrible hurt—there are a lot of mothers that grieve over their children that have turned their love away. Prayers and concern for older mothers should be priority. We gave, gave all, gave up our dreams and wants to see to their needs without hesitation; unconditional love. All we ask is for the hardness in hearts to melt and once again be those blessed children we loved so tenderly and cherished. Much love to you my daughters…much love. Come home.
Just want you to know I have prayed for you right now, with tears streaming down my face, that your daughters hearts may be soften and your relationship mended. I went through a very difficult time with my own mom and by the grace of God we have a good relationship now. Your efforts are not on vein and God sees your heart and all the hard work you have done and continue to do as a good mother to your daughters.
Thank you. This was so beautiful.
Wow! This is what I really need to hear at the moment. Thank you. I’m currently on maternity leave with my 6 month old and also have a nearly 6 year old. The days and nights feel long and hard and many times I’ve felt like I can’t take much more but I always can. God is so good to us. Thank you for the encouragement today.
As a mother of 4 under 6, this article really resonates with me. I am finding it easier to cope with not being recognized as the years go by. Focusing on the reasons why I do what I do and appreciating every small sign of success, i.e. focusing on the positive, has been very helpful for me. I don’t even let myself mull over society’s devaluing the role of motherhood, particularly stay at home or work from home mothers; it’s too depressing. I hope you have a blessed day!
This is very nice, but moms aren’t the only ones who do this- dads do this too. Fatherhood is a calling just as much as motherhood is. My husband does all of these things, too, and perhaps with even less notice because it’s presumed he only goes to work. But not only does he work all day, he does the bath and bedtime routine (among other things) when he gets home- not to give me a break, but because he wants to, because he’s a father.
You are so right.
Absolutely! My husband makes countless unseen sacrifices as well!
When I first had my boys, I was teaching full time, had a wonderful caregiver for them and life worked, but I always had guilt. We made a huge move 4 hours from anyone. The decision was made that I would be a stay at home mom. I loved it. We have 2 boys, but one went to Kindergarten that year. There were days I thought I’d rip my hair out, but I wouldn’t trade those days. Then, the year I was going to begin subbing and looking for work, my husband was deployed. That was an amazing year of ups and downs, but I did it. Alone. There is nothing more important than being a mom. Kids need life lessons from mom. They learn proper behavior from home and mom. Stay true, girls. My boys are now 11 & 13. I’m in my “first” year of teaching here. Talk about a crazy ride….
Great writing!
Nice article…y’all wanna trade with me?? I can’t have kids…think that thru ladies….
It most definitely must be hard to not be able to have kids. I cannot imagine all that you go through. This article was probably not meant for you. I’m sure there are many things you could find to read that would resonate with you; such as stories on another blog about not having kids or groups you could meet up with….But this article will touch many who do have children! Of course it doesn’t hurt to be reminded of those who would “do anything” to have children and cannot have them. Some things we’ll never understand, but I don’t think it’s fair to put that “extra guilt” on a mother. After a mother complains about sleepless nights and sick kids, etc.- there’s going to be someone who says that they “wish they could have sleepless nights and sick kids.” I don’t think it helps to say such things, as it may make a mother feel even worse, thinking “I shouldn’t complain about my lack of sleep, cause there’s someone out there somewhere who would do anything to be in my shoes.” Instead, let’s all try to accept (very hard to do) that which we personally are handed and hope that support, when needed, can be found! And for me- this article was the support I needed today!
Being an involved mom or dad is hard work. However, in my opinion, there is no job in God’s universe harder than being a mom. To steal a line from the old Dragnet series, “Being a mom is a dirty, glamour less, thank less job and I am darn glad that my wife is just that mom and we have 2 daughters that exemplify motherhood.
Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for this. I literally WEPT through reading it. I have no other words – just more touched by this than anything else on motherhood I have ever read. Thank you. And I pray God pours out His finest blessing on you.
Oh Lynsey, thank you!
As a Mommy of a newborn & a 7 year old with high functioning Autism, your words broke through to my soul & encouraged my heart. Thank you!
Reblogged this on mentioningsofthefoundling and commented:
This post is profound & will encourage you to your core.
I am the mother of 6 grown children, 5 sons and one daughter, who have blessed me with 15 grandchildren, so far! I remember, when they were all young, how I worried that I wasn’t doing everything well enough. My house wasn’t clean enough, I wasn’t patient enough. I wasn’t contributing to the household income. But how could I volunteer at school, teach Bible School, go with them on field trips, cook them big, healthy meals, etc., etc., and work a job? So, they didn’t always have the coolest shoes or the newest whatever, but they survived. They not only survived, they grew into responsible, loving parents themselves. And they have all thanked me for being there for them, always attending and sometimes coaching their sporting events, helping them with their homework and 4-h projects, and most of all, for teaching them to be responsible adults. Being a mom is hard work, whether you work away from home or not. It’s not a job for the faint at heart! But it is the most rewarding job in the world when those kids look to you for their example! Oh, and when they give you those grandkids!
I just wish there had been Facebook and I had seen this post when my children were still little. They are now 22 and 18. The time flew by so very fast and I wish I could go back and enjoy those tedious tasks once more. Thank you so much for this…it took be back to that hectic but wonderful time when my babies were still babies. God bless you!
Your words are beautiful. I was a SAHM for 3 years to two boys, who are about to turn 6 and 8 years old. I have been back in the “working” world for almost 2 years now, and I would give anything to be a SAHM again. Even though I felt like no one noticed (especially my hubby) how much I did while home, and I still feel that way now; I work 9 hours a day with demanding people, and then have to go home and do the mom/wife/teacher/cook/maid/dog groomer/and every other job out there! Being a mom is by far the hardest thing I have ever/probably will ever do, but I think it is the best “job” out there! I feel guilty working, and not being there for my kids when they get home from school and I feel like I am doing so much, and constantly rushing around that I missing out on so much. I feel like I am not their for them like they need for me to be.
Stephanie, I don’t know your circumstances, but don’t feel any guilt! You are doing the best for your family and those sweet kiddos! God sees all the sacrifices you’re making. He also sees the guilt you carry. Let Him overwhelm your guilt with his grace!
My husband asked permission to post his thoughts on “When Mothering is HARD and no one sees!”
Here Goes:
“There is nothing that a mere mortal man can do that even begins to compare with the August Majesty of Motherhood!!!” Charles Pipkin, husband.
I was truly moved! I’m a single mom of a 14 year old boy! It’s hard work day in and day out! There are days when all I can do is cry! Thank you so much for your encouragement!!
I want to follow f&c
Jessica, I would love for you to follow! Beneath my bio photo on the right side of the page, there is a search box, and beneath that search box is a place for your e mail. Just enter your e mail and then hit the button that says “I Want to Follow F&C.” So blessed to have you here!
Reblogged this on thewhitandsamfam.
Very nice. Been there, done that. And my children have lived to tell about it.
Reblogged this on Sowing Mercy and commented:
For those of you who are in the thick of it….Mothering is hard work and sometimes no one sees the good you are sowing into the lives of your little ones.
We truly are doing the Lord’s work and he sustains us day in and day out. I am so thankful for this calling and wouldn’t trade the hardship and the blessings for anything in the world! Thank you for your inspired words!
Thank you for the reminder and the encouragement! It came to me at the perfect time. God bless!
Oh I so needed to read this on this, our millionth snow day trapped inside with four kiddos. Thank you so so much for writing it and reminding me that He sees me. <3 God bless you!!
Then they grow up and don ‘T need you anymore.
I know that mom, she is my wonderful wife, and she’s an amazing mother! She’s a part-time SAHM and a part-time career professional, yet she still goes through everything mentioned in this article, switching between roles but always lovingly putting her family first.
Thank you, thank you for mentioning that your wife also works! I was a part-time SAHM and a part time worker until my youngest was in 2nd grade. Now I work full time so that I can make enough to send my oldest to college. It is indeed a hard job to take care of home and family but those of us who must work as well often get looked down upon by full time SAHMs. Our mornings are exactly like the article states: our feet do indeed hit the floor working and yet we must get ourselves ready for work all the while mothering our children and making sure their needs are met. Then I bring my daughter to school and hit the commute to work. Then I must drive to pick her up at the afterschool program, come home, get dinner, work with her on homework, and make sure we have some special time together before it’s time to get ready for bed. It’s a long hard road for both types of Moms. SAHMs I’m sure have cleaner houses than mine, but there’s just as much love here. I must admit when my kids were younger I was quite jealous of SAHMs but I love my life and I love my kids. They turned out to be pretty terrific so I know I did it right! <3
I guarantee you that most SAHMs’ houses are not cleaner than yours. You assume you’re looked down upon by SAHMs, but this comment comes across negatively to SAHMs. SAHMs’ houses are lived in 24/7 and cannot possibly stay clean. We beat ourselves up that our homes SHOULD be clean because we’re here all the time, and while blog posts like this help, comments like yours hurt. We should respect each other, no matter our “label.” The different jobs – whether inside or outside the home – are equally exhausting, in different ways.
Sounds like you have your work cut out for you. Lol though about the clean house business. I find working mamas have cleaner homes because when they and their kids aren’t there, there is also no one making mess. It feels like one step forward, two steps back some days, but I think the challenge with working would be trying to squeeze in the main chores like dishes and laundry in the end of day time when you are tired just like full time SAHMs and wanting to connect with your kids. Xo God bless
I wish all my days that my husband saw this in me. Because he doesn’t and it’s all I hope for. Instead I hear, “it’s not that hard.” So, your wife is lucky you understand, even if only a little.
I’m sorry you husband doesn’t show appreciation. God sees your hard work and so do all moms. Keep up the good work. We are all rooting for you!
Thank you so much. I have eleven kids- ten still at home, and we homeschool, so you’ve captured my occasional thoughts perfectly. Thank you for reminding me who does see…and He is more than enough.
Reblogged this on Ann Holder Fine Art Studio.
Thank you for your beautiful article. The phrase “…this is worship in action” particularly resonated with me. `These were my thoughts exactly when I was so tired from nursing that I wanted to cry; played “Army Men” for the 117th time in a day; picked up our son in the principal’s office; and so on. Now he’s a college freshman and I get less chances to be purposefully active with him, but now….my inner thoughts are a constant prayer for him and about him. You might say I have moved now from worship in action, to prayer in action….please heavenly Father, keep him safe. Keep him comforted. At all times please help him reflect the good that I know is in him, and let him be a model to others of that goodness. It starts at home. Period. My costly J.D. is trashed; I may never find full time employment again having taken a hiatus to “worship in action” as a mother. It was my calling and my duty. It was and is a privilege that I’m thankful for every day.
Thank you
Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for this post. The Lord knew I needed this encouragement right now. I am a stay at home, homeschooling mom of 4. My kids are 2, 4, 6, and 9. My youngest has begun his terrible twos. We just moved to a new area 3 weeks ago and my husband gas a new job. He is not around much at all now. We are living out of boxes as I have not had the time to completely unpack the house on my own.
I was struggling with feeling overwhelmed, stressed and embarrassed. I’ve been toying with the idea of sending my older two to school next year as this is just getting so hard to do on my own. But then, I struggle with thinking I’m being selfish. I desire quiet and alone time. Then I feel like a bad mom for not appreciating my children and the gifts that they are. I often feel alone.
It was good to be reminded that God sees and I AM serving Him daily. It was great to be reminded that motherhood is a self-sacrificing job, but I am not alone. Jehovah Jirah is withe, helping and strengthening (and encouraging) me.
Thank you for being His reminder to me.
This is just what I needed to read today after starting my morning at the gym listening to two women bemoaning the fact they didn’t remain in the work force while their kids were younger: “Just think where I’d be now.” “I don’t want my daughters growing up thinking it’s OK to devote yourself entirely to your family without having a job outside the home.”
Yeah, that’s so awful, huh?
It’s sad how our society places such high expectations on women and their ability to have “balanced lives” and to “have it all”. It’s looked down upon for a college-educated woman to stay at home.
Reblogged this on dar052.
Your thoughts and feelings are well exposed. These are the questions that come like little whispers every night of the life of every mother since Eve and even Mary for none of us gets a manual to help us raise to the calling of our babes from the womb and into the end of our lives? I think we can use the Bible as a guide with lots of faith as we are looking for specific answers for question oft to general we think. Look again and pray on it, with FAITH, the answer is there!
Motherhood is not a martyr’s calling nor a vocation. It is simply biology of that has assigned the chores to the part that is best prepared and molded to deal with the situation that ensures that the species is nurtured to survive. It would seem then that God indicates he made the female of this species to deal with the complexity, pain, nurturing and caring for the babes of our kind to the woman who can carry out the mothering, handling the keep and hunting (if the man leaves or dies) such that this is a species that can survive without males. Therefore, there is no denigration to be the one chosen to single hand, with God, to continue and preserve our kind. It is my fear that if the tasking ability were otherwise designed the our family line would have already be gone from the bipeds of this creation. We can already see, time and time again, the termination of species where interchangeable tasking favors the male.
I was very encouraged by reading this. I feel quite often that no one sees. I have four adopted children, two of them still at home and one in college. I am 24/7 caregiver to my 12 year old autistic son. If he wakes up at 1:30 a.m., as he did this morning, I have to stay up and take care of him. My husband is a busy pastor, and I have been unable to hear him preach and stay for worship services for almost two years. Our son has behavior issues, as well as the autism, ADHD, developmental issues, etc., due to a drug addict birth mother. At times we face violent episodes with broken windows, mirrors, etc., and quite frequently get punched. But I constantly lean on God and pray for his mercy and wisdom and strength for the day. I love my children, and my son who needs so much is a precious gift from God. Many days the tears fall a lot because I am tired and discouraged and wonder what the future holds for this child. Thank you for your encouragement to me; the reminder that God sees.
Send email. This bog from today also.. thank you.
My thoughts exactly. I am a SAHM to an 8 year old and 10 year old (that we are taking care of at this time). I have days that I am ready to give up and this is inspiring because I am dealing with behavior issues from the 10 year old who is ADHD and his parents did not work with him. I struggle daily with some of these issues and I am thankful that I seen and read this article because it does make things become more clear to me. Thank you and beautifully written.
It’s 2:30 am. I’m due with my 6th child in 6 days. I’m tired. So tired. I love what I’ve been called to do – raise a generation! I love telling my children about Jesus and caring for them. This is a very selfless calling. It does feel at times like no one “sees” the hard work that goes into mothering.
Thank you for this article, especially right now, at this very moment, so early in the morning. It encouraged me as I await courageously to give birth to our next child- tired but seen.
God bless you!!!
This is so well said. I love that I am able to work part time from home, be home with my kids and homeschool them (8 & 2) on top of it all but there are days were you really do grow weary and you wonder if you are failing them as a mother. It’s an amazing feeling to know that God will carry you through and will guide you. In this day and age it’s so easy to let the world take over but with God’s amazing grace we will be comforted and in some way, shape or form will still manage to raise our children and do the job we were called to do.
wow thank you, brought tears to my eyes 🙂 …Mama of three boys (3yr old & 2 yr old twins!)
My boys are nearly grown, and I remember those days when I looked forward to the day they’d be able to make their own sandwiches, just for the lunch time break! I did it all, SAH, part-time and full-time job & mother and when they were young teenagers, their father passed away after a long illness. Then I was both mother and father.
There are two things I would like to share about that time. Cherish it because you will wish for it’s return one day. As my boys rush around living their busy hectic lives with little time left for Mom, I miss those days when it was a rush to see how fun we could squeeze into one day, the fun things I tried to do with their food so it would be appealing, leaving the housework for another day so we could go to the park. I miss holding my baby at 2am when it was just the two of us. I miss the funny little things they would say and silly faces they made.
There were times when they were little that I felt like my service to God had to wait because I was so busy taking care of my children … little did I know that WAS my service to God! Today I am so blessed that my two sons are following God! My youngest son is leaving in a week for his 2nd mission trip with school and plans to spend the summer after he graduates in the mission field. He feels God calling him to missions. My oldest son after a brief detour has returned to the Lord, led in no small part by witnessing the life of his younger brother. I’m so proud and humbled by what God is doing in their lives.
It was hard sometimes, raising them, but so worth it! Enjoy it!
I bawled like a baby reading this! I am a mother of 7 children ages 33 down to 21. Our 21 year old has severe cerebral palsy so I am still at the age of 55 in the trenches of motherhood, changing diapers, showering her, feeding her, etc. and although my 5 oldest daughters are married now and #6, a boy, is in his last year of college, I will be a mother till I take my last breath. I too have wondered if anyone sees me, but deep down I’ve always known that God does. I feel chosen and blessed by the 7 gifts He has given me, and yes I have no life of my own, and yet I have abundant life. Now I see 3 of my grown daughters who are now mothers themselves in the letter written above, that I still see myself in. And God sees them too. I will share this with them, so that they know that all that they do is not in vain, and that the most important eyes DO see them! Thank you for this, God bless!
Dear Mom of Daughter with CP :o)
I am 30 years old and a mother to four beautiful kiddos ages 10, 8, 4 and 2. My eight year old son is healthy, but my three daughters all have different and sever medical conditions. My 10 year old has a condition like CP and is in a wheelchair, my 4 year old was born with only a third of living intestine and has to be “fed” by IV nutrition every night (and will be in diapers potentially for life), and my 2 year old has pulmonary and cardiac issues that require her to be on oxygen and seven medications. My husband is no longer in the picture after he abandoned our family for drugs, so only by the grace of God I manage. I could relate to your statement about being a mother down to your last breath. For years after my oldest daughter’s diagnosis I battled depression realizing that I could never achieve my dreams of becoming an overseas missionary because I was chained to Children’s Hospital. Since I was four years old I had that dream. However, God spoke to me through this verse in Jeremiah “If you have raced with men on foot and they have worn you out, how can you compete with horses? If you stumble in safe country, how will you manage in the thickets by the Jordan?” At that moment HE opened my eyes to the real mission field I was in; my children. If I couldn’t show Christ to them and those in my own neighborhood how effective could I really be in another country? I think the biggest mission field God has for mothers is their very own children. Someone once told me that our biggest contribution to the work of Christ may be the children we raise. Never feel less-than for being a seed sower. A harvester would be nothing without the sower of seeds.
As a single mom, I do not have the joy of being able to stay at home with my children, but being sure that my children KNOW I love them and put them before my career builds open communication and trust. Never stop and think you’re less than a career woman. Mothering is the hardest and most rewarding job there is.
God bless you Hannah, you are serving the Lord God himself each and every day as you care for those beautiful children alone! He sees you….. I too wanted to be a missionary overseas from an early age. When I was 10, we had a guest speaker, a missionary from Africa named Mary Baker, at my youth rally. The missionary prayed with us, a rather large group of youth from many different churches, and said during the prayer that if any of us wanted to give their life to the Lord, to please stand and she would speak to us after the rally. With my eyes closed tight, I immediately stood, and after hearing the Amen opened my eyes and was the only child standing in a very large church full of youth. All eyes were on me and I didn’t know how to feel. She prayed and cried with me after, and a few months later I received a bible in the mail from Africa from her, with many verses underlined. I thirsted for His word in the days and years after I received that bible, and read it non-stop. But I had always felt guilty that I had somehow let God down because I chose marriage and children as my life path instead mission work, even though I was teaching Sunday School, Bible School and Junior church. Then one day, while in church with my husband (with our little ones safely in the nursery and in junior church) our minister preached on the different parts of the body of Christ and how each was just as important as the next, and at one point his exact words were “We can’t ALL be missionaries to Africa!”. I sat bolt upright in the pew, because I knew those words were meant for me, I felt as though I was the only one in the church and God was speaking directly to me. My guilt vanished as I realized that I was exactly where He wanted me to be. Our plans are not always His plans. He had my life and your life planned when we were still in the womb. Motherhood is in my opinion the most important and most honorable job there is. And one day you and I, along with all of the other God-fearing, God-serving mothers will hear the words “Well done, good and faithful servant”. Have a beautiful day 🙂
Could I please ask for prayer for my marriage! We have been struggling for such a long time and not sure howuch longer I can stay in aarriage where I am belittled and out down constantly ! Nothing I do is enough! Thank you for praying
Hannah! Wow! This post brought tears to my eyes. Thank you so much for sharing. “Never feel less-than for being a seed sower. A harvester would be nothing without the sower of seeds.” What a pair of statements! I am the mother of two daughters who are 9 years and 9 months apart in age. My older daughter is married and they have blessed us with a precious grandson who is now 14 months old. My younger daughter is a senior in high school – so wanting her independence, and I am made to feel like I can’t be her mom – she wants no input – outwardly – but maybe inwardly she does want it and doesn’t know how to receive it. My husband points out that she is really insecure. I am praying about better ways to try to relate to her as we only frustrate each other at this time. 🙁 I am still sowing seeds into her life. Yes! Thank you for this reminder, sweet sister in Christ. Your attitude toward being a mother is a wonderful testimony. Thank you for sharing this testimony with us.
Reblogged this on mrsjtpetrone's Blog.
Reblogged this on in this crazy place called home.
Wow… I NEEDED to read this. My weary heart needed this. When you make all these sacrifices with no recognition or respect from the other…adult…it becomes so disheartening, so insulting, so hurtful. 💔 I needed the reminder that it doesn’t matter!!! God sees, God KNOWS, His eye is ever on the sparrow. Nothing else matters. #tear ✊🙌🙌 ❤❤❤ I love you Lord!!
Thank you, Providence for this bold comment. I need to see it. God continue to bless you richly!
Thank you so much for posting this! I am a new mother to a precious baby girl who has PKU and acid reflux and is very high maintenance. I knew I was going to be sleep deprived but it’s tougher than I ever imagined. My every thought and move, every ounce of energy and effort I have is sucked dry by my little one. I love her so much but I had different expectations of what my little one was going to be like and how motherhood would be. Thank you for reminding me that being a mother is the most important job in the world and that God sees me and hears me and loves me even when it feels like the rest of the world doesn’t. ❤️
Beautifully done… Thank you from a mother of 7… 28 years of a love I could never have imagined, tears, pain ( oh the pain!), Joy, sacrifice, so many sleepless nights, and an equal amount of snuggling….
I love being a mom! And now a gramma of a 2 year old, with hopes of so many more to come. I see results of all those years of Motherhood in the trust my daughter has in me with her most precious package. And in the eyes and spirit of her 2 yr old I see her all over again. Oh what a blessing!
Thank you God!
Diana
Being a mother never ends. My children are adults and I still am just as concerned for their spiritual life as when they were babies. Yes, it is a thankless job but through it we see the way God loves us. It definitely is a role that is a blessing.
You are so right, Karen. You never stop being a mother, and caring and worrying about your child. Not until your last breath. I struggle daily with my 28 year old daughter saying she does not believe in Christ. She believes in God, was baptized, confirmed, accepted Christ as her Savior, and surrounded by family who have such faith. It is so hard to understand. I cry, I worry, and I pray. I ask forgiveness for failing somewhere. She is a caring, considerate, compassionate, responsible, hard-working person, knows right from wrong and tries hard to do the right things, but I am so afraid for her eternal life. Please pray for Alissa, that Christ will bring her back into his loving arms again. Nothing matters more to me than that.
A very nice post and I am sure every stay at home mother out there appreciates it. I do hope that stay at home fathers may one day share in the respect sahm’s get. We do the same work have the same responsibilities, and make the same sacrifices but are treated as a side show. a curiosity to look at but seldom recognized. A quick example of this. I took my daughters to a local museum with another stay at home dad. At one point I had to use the bathroom. The kids floor of this museum had a ladies room and a family restroom, but no mens room. It’s small but talk about feeling unwelcome.
Bryan, while I wrote this specifically to encourage mothers, your sacrifices are seen too! God bless you for the way you are selflessly serving your children!
Hi, Bryan: You stay at home fathers do indeed deserve great respect for your positions. It is quite admirable that you stay home with your kids. You are surely not a side show! God loves you immensely and is pleased with your decision and your care for His little ones. Be strengthened in your inner man and keep your eyes, heart and mind fixed on Jesus, the Author and Finisher of your faith.
Every parent, biological or adoptive, SAHM or working a job, female or male needs to feel like they are seen and appreciated. I only wish every man was as dedicated to their children as you are. God sees you and appreciates your efforts, just as he sees mothers and fathers everywhere. Often he is the only one that does. My daughter’s father was completely absent, even while we were together, which sadly was a short time, after I discovered he was using drugs, would not stop, and I chose to remove my daughter from that environment. He later got clean, remarried, had a chance to be part of her life, and other than a few visits, basically ignored her. Her step mother was a wonderful woman, who tried to encourage him to take an interest. She cared for her very much, but she could not get him to care either. You should be applauded by everyone.
This was exactly what I needed to hear today, and thank you for your faithfulness to Gods call in your life. God bless you and your family.:-)
Reblogged this on My Three Little Chicks and commented:
Oh, I so needed this today. I hope it speaks to you, the unsung hero, and serves as a reminder of the beauty, uncompromising love, and forever memories we experience on a day to day basis. He loves you…just as you are right in this moment.
As I wipe tears from my eyes, thank you for articulating the pain my heart. I am a SAHM of two, I have a 5 year old and 1yr old. I served God as a full time Children’s Minister for almost 12 years before I became a full time SAHM. I have had countless families tell me how much I blessed their children but I have felt like such a failure with my own. I have struggled with feelings of inadequacy, depression, discouragement, frustration……. I have felt invisible and longed to be appreciated. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. God sees and He knows exactly what we need. I know motherhood is a divine c a lling and assignment from God. Sometimes it’s great to be reminded.
The reason Proverbs 31was given to us
“El Roi…God sees”…thank you for that reminder along with the “understanding” that speaks to me while reading this. I am a mom to 5 kids, 4 at home, pastor’s wife, homeschooling mom, SAHM, kids with medical conditions and lots of doctors appointments. This IS my calling. I told my husband before we married that God had called me to be a mom. After infertility and God’s blessings of our children, I would think that I wouldn’t feel so unnoticed…but I do. Thank you for this article!
I read this from a slightly different perspective. My children are grown. And yet my job has not ended. I have lived through everything you all speak of. And now…..now????? I miss those days. I truly do. Probably when I look back, I think mostly of the fun times, the sweet times, the firsts, But thank God I have that. And I have the ability to filter out the sad feelings, the feelings that I ddn’t matter, the feelings that would just scream if I didn’t get some adult interaction. My job may NEVER be done. I have one child with mental disabilities. Not the kind that people can see so much unless they are with him more than 10 minutes. Add on top of that the heartbreak of addiction…….and my job continues. It’s harder now. I can’t even pretend to have any control. The prayers are longer….soooo heartfelt…..and the brokenness in me is more broken. And when I cried out to God “what can I DO?” I opened the Bible and staring at me was the answer. I am supposed to love him. That is my job. Simply love. That I can do. Always.
Hi, Carmen. I really appreciate what you have shared here. I love my teenage daughter immensely, but our relationship is strained. I really have little “in” with her, and that hurts; not my choosing totally. I am now admitting more readily the part I play in this strained relationship. Maybe it is simple to love her, but not easy to show/give her that love. Hmmmm? This relationship with her has taught me more and more about my heavenly Father’s unconditional love for me. I believe I can honestly say I love my daughter unconditionally, but the hurt, frustration, confusion, and other emotions are no less
present. Thank you for helping me think through this a little more. God continue to bless you richly! Because of Jesus…
I am actually the one who leaves the house to work while my husband stays home full time with the kids and this article definitely applies to dad’s occasionally as well . I think in those cases the dads really don’t get enough credit due to the fact that it is so uncommon for them to be in this role. I am so thankful for the real kingdom work that my husband is doing by leading, teaching, and discipling our children. <3
Yes, Tiana. Amen!
I am a mom of 9, I homeschool, run my own business and have a wonderful husband that supports me. This is a wonderful reminder that this “job”, although we might not realize at the time, is a blessing. I will pray as I fold their laundry and put away the dishes…Thank you God for my babies. 1 Corinthians 10:31
This post was so encouraging!!!!!!! I was in tears!!! It reminded me that all that we do as Mother’s is for God’s glory and not my own. We are investing into the next generation and leaving a legacy of love and sacrifice. Thank you for putting into words what I feel in my heart!
My God!!! My God!!! My God!!!
This has really spoken to my heart! I literally could not stop reading this because it is me through and through. Deep down I have been feeling like I’m not serving or doing enough for God because I am a stay at home mom however, after reading this it is crystal clear that I am serving and worshiping The Lord. That’s another thing, I did not know all the things I do for my beautiful 5 children is worship to The Lord. I love it! Thank you so much for allowing The Lord to use you in this posting. It is very much appreciated.
Thank you for this beautiful article! I needed to hear this today! I am a mother with 4 teenagers , I could really use some serious prayer! My marriage is not in a good place! My husband has always belittled me for being a stay at home mom! Telling me I have no responsibilitys, says I have never contributed to our family financially! Thank you for your prayers! I cherish them!
Thanks this made me cry! I so feel this way it is a hard road to travel and no one can prepare you for it! Love my kids but some times you feel like your just not appreciated, remembering who we are doing it for makes it easier! Thanks for the great read!
Inspired a post 🙂
http://www.fishermissions.com/2/post/2014/02/raising-a-generation-being-missionary-and-mom.html
Thank you!
words cannot express the depth of my heart for this article for just someone saying what women go through on a daily basis sometimes the insensitivity of their own husbands and the selfishness of children and feeling so unappreciated but to be reminded that God see us ,he loves us and th is a service. Unto him here makes it worthwhile in to be reminded that we are important for raisin generation of children to God and we are doing God’s work in his service and he loves us he kiss my ass he sees me he hears that means the world to me
My phone accidentally spelled out a cuss word that did not come from my mouth to all those that Is isReading my comment please excuse me please overlook this I am a save woman of God it did not come out of my mouth the spell check on my phone accidentally sent it out for some reason and I am so sorry to all those the repairs
Thank you for reminding me that God sees all.
Thank you for this beautiful which has really captured my heart. I have shared it with my friends who are mothers too. God bless you and your family x
I just wanted to say thank you, as I sit here with tears streaming down my face, exhausted from a busy day at work followed my taking my daughter to dance class and daily household chores, and while listening to one of my twins cry because he doesn’t want to sleep. I truly needed to be reminded in this very moment that God still sees.
Thank you, thank you, thank you! I so needed this today!
I have a special needs child with severely challenged disabilities. I receive no financial assistance from his father. I need a miracle for a job that will understand my needs, to work, but need to be off for doctor’s appointments to being able to be with my son through his numerous hospital stay.
I’m in financial crunch. I’m losing it. I’m drowning.
I want to be that mom to my youngest but I find it to be impossible. I feel like a failure.
Praying for you. I too am a mom (4 kids) of special needs children (3 of my 4) and KNOW what a struggle it is to find a job that will understand the dozens of monthly appointments and hospital stays during the year.
If you move to Colorado and take a three week class to get your CNA license, the state will pay you to care for your own child. I did this for two years before I had to move back to sea level due to my daughter’s health. They pay well and it’s usually 40 hours a week per child.
Also, I would look into SSI (children’s disability) through your state. On average, if no other income is coming in they will pay about $700 a month to help with living/caregiving costs.
It’s been an excruciatingly long week of caring for sick family members (while being sick myself) and living in a house that my three little boys have successfully conquered and destroyed. Through a post on Facebook, I found myself reading this post today. Tears fell down my face as I read it again and again. God knew. He knew my heart was in desperate need of being reminded that He sees and cares. He knew I needed to be refreshed and energized in knowing that it is all an opportunity to worship Him. Thank you so much for sharing and letting God speak through you. I am so excited to start following your blog!
Yes God sees I completely agree!! Being a mom of 4 and step mom of 3 , I get stepped on, tooken advantage and disrespected but in the end I am happy God has put me here. I told my husband one night I couldn’t sleep and he asked me why and I said “I can’t remember if the doors are locked, think the kids are warm enough, do my kids hate me, am I a good mom, I know the baby is going to cry the minute I close my eyes, I have to buy milk and diapers tomorrow, I have to wake up early enough to make everyone breakfast , I dont know if I set the coffee pot to go on in the morning, I pray the kids are okay, what if one stops breathing what if one sleep walks and goes outside” I think I went on for about 5 minutes and my husband said “you feel this way and stress like this because you are a good mom” since he said that, Ive felt so much better.
This peace was very uplifting, knowing what an awsome God we serve. God Bless
Thank you
Amen. So beautiful! This was something I really needed to read after this weekend. Thank you for blessing me with this reminder. I love that verse and I beat myself up everyday I don’t gracefully humble myself and meet my children’s needs. It’s good to remember we all have those days and this is a never ending journey. We all fall short, but God sees and He loves us in spite of our failings!
When I was pregnant with #3, my ex-husband gave me two black eyes. I’ve been a single/stay at home mom ever since. It’s so hard. I question myself every day. I definitely needed this post!!
This is so beautiful, my sister shared it with me. I felt discouraged today when I went to the beach and an old man walking by said “Gee, tough life being a mother isn’t it?” (Sarcastically) he seemed only light hearted but I think behind it may have been some bitterness behind it, a chauvinistic attitude. In actual fact my husband had taken me out of the house, otherwise I would have been home all day plodding away on housework and mothering but he had gone ahead and was already in the surf, leaving me to get the kids all slathered with sunscreen, trying to prevent the toddler from turning not he shower and washing it all off before we got down the path and not dropping the sunscreen onto the sandy path while trying to juggle the two of them – such is the life of a mother. You can’t just leave the kids behind and laadeedaa down the beach for a casual surf/swim/sun bake. But life has been pretty cruise lately for me, while hubby had been working extra, so I recognise and value the work he does too. A few weeks back I definitely would have cried reading this. Hectic times! I love the study manual ‘The power of Motherhood’ by Nancy Campbell for edifying scriptures on this role we outwork. This is a message that more peeps need to hear. I’m going to share it on my facebook page called Barefoot in the Kitchen
A friend shared this post with me because she knows the struggle I have. Even though I know that God has called me to this, to mothering these 3 children He has so graciously and faithfully given to me, it’s hard. I know you understand, so I won’t even get into it.
Reading your words, reading how motherhood is about dying daily to yourself, and how it’s worship in action… I’ve never even looked at it that way. I struggle with impatience–deep rooted, sometimes it feels hateful, impatience. Reading your post has opened my eyes to how motherhood is completely Holy Spirit fuelled… It’s about honouring God with my parenting, my servitude. Thank you so much for this. I’m printing this out and referencing it often, and sharing it with all of my amazing Mama’s.
Thank you for this!
This is great
Wow! All I can say is THANK YOU! It helps put things in perspective. I am mom to a 26 year old daughter who is married and has blessed us with a precious grandson, and a 17 year old daughter who is in her senior year of high school. These are trying times, to say the least. I love her so very much, but she is struggling for that independence, and our relationship is strained. Thank you for sharing these affirming thoughts and truths. I am glad my older daughter posted this on face book. God bless you richly!
I certainly relate to your message, as a grandmother, with memories of motherhood…and I’m sending this to my dear daughter-in-law who is doing a great, sometimes unnoticed, job of mothering 3 &3/4 beautiful miracles of life. I believe that our son Does notice, and pray that he also praises and commends. Their love and faith is building a family on the firm foundation of Jesus. Giving Thanks.
Wonderful
So needed to read this today! Thanks for the words of encouragement!
I think it’s important to note that fathers face this as well. As a full-time stay at home Dad I frequently feel that my hard work goes unseen, and yet I know that God sees and is proud of my work to raise godly children and care for them. I appreciate the point of this post, but encourage you to acknowledge that many men do the same things day in and out. It’s not about mothering, it’s about parenting.
Your children are blessed to have such a caring father.
Michael, you are doing a wonderful job. You should be proud of yourself. I am a mother of a 11 month old boy and primarily my husband has been a stay at home father with our son most days and pretty much the first 3 months of his life while I finished dental school, I was so busy I could barely shower at times, he did everything, feeding him, changing him, waking at night, everything. all I did was study study study, and try to be there for moments with my husband and son, but was so stressed out because I could not help. Now, I have a greater appreciation for what a father does. You are bonding with your children so much so, that they truly will know the love inside you have for them, and no outside work outside the home can repay in any way or replace that. You should be proud of yourself. Its a selfless, at times hard job, but its also so rewarding and god knows what you do to sacrifice yourself for those kids, he knows, I promise.
Thank you!! You have no idea how much I needed it 🙂
I needed this! As I have recently been struggling with the question, ” what is God’s calling or will for my life ?”, this article brought much clarity by helping me realize how important the everyday moments with my children are and that motherhood one of the most important callings in life . I also related so much to all the visuals you “painted” of motherhood. You helped me remember that i am not the only one going through this! Thank you for allowing God to use you in such an awesome and inspiring way!
Loved the post of a mother
Reblogged this on In His Presence I Am Changed.
This is an absolutely beautiful piece..! As an adoptive mommy, I do wish that my kind of mommy would be recognized as well… not all mommies have “the privilege of giving life”. Yet we love our little ones, we deny ourselves for them just the same.
Absolutely Andrea!
A mommy is a mommy. I am adopted, and had a beautiful mother, who I miss every day, since she has been gone. Giving birth has nothing to do with being a mother, as you so well know. I was so blessed and appreciate everything my mom did for me, even though I often didn’t as a child. I have always struggled with feelings of rejection by my birth parents and my dad. It made me appreciate my mom that much more. I agree too, with the dads. It is ALL parenting, care-giving, loving, and sacrifice, trying to do your best for your child, and feeling at times like nobody notices, often your own children. I am a single mother of a 28 year old daughter, who feels I was a complete failure as a mother. That hurts more than I have words for, I was impatient at times, suffered from depression, and was stressed out a lot, trying to make ends meet and make sure she always had what she needed and most of what she wanted, often doing without myself, so she could have. I know I made lots of mistakes, but I tried to be encouraging, supportive, and loving, although often fell short. I attended every ball game she played in or cheered in, every rodeo, every horse show, every concert, play… Made sure she was able to do any activities she chose to do. Made sure she had good horses to ride, 4-H steers, tried to help her with all of her activities… My help was unappreciated and perceived as criticism, even though I always tried to praise her for her accomplishments. Made sure she had good medical, dental, and eye care.I had to ask my parents and brother for help many times, so she could have all of these things. Saved all but 5 child support payments, a whopping $250 a month, and put them in a college account for her. Have helped her with other college expenses, gave her a trailer house to live in during college, made sure she had a reliable car to drive… She was raised in the church, went through confirmation, and had grandparents who helped a lot, and had very strong faith. Now, thanks to friends, and other influences, and who knows what else, she says does not believe in Jesus. She does believe in God, but hearing her say she doesn’t believe in Jesus really tears me apart. I feel like such a failure, and all I can do is ty to talk to her and pray for her, that Jesus will bring her back to him. Whatever I did or failed to do, wasn’t enough. I feel like such a complete failure as a mother, and worry so much about her, and her decision not to believe. I will never give up on her though, no matter what. I am now disabled and having to stay with her, and know she feels like I am such a burden, which I am sure I am. She shouldn’t be saddled with me at her age. I don’t want her to feel indebted to me in any way, but a little appreciation and acknowledgement would be so uplifting. Don’t get me wrong, she is a responsible, caring, hard working person, and I am very proud of her. It is just gut wrenching. Prayer is all I have left, and I pray so hard. I know God hears me. loves me, and has a plan, and that is all that keeps me going. Other’s posts have been comforting and really help. Thank you all so much!
This so touched my heart. I have been a stay at home mom to eight total (five of my own and three step). Today I needed to hear this more than ever. It seems some days are better than others and some u sit in the cor er and just are moved to tears by emotions and guilt of your actions of the day. But to know God is by my side in it all.
I have three kids in those five that have been medically fragile through most of their lives and sometimes I sit and cry and ask God “Why” I then get that soft answer I chose u for a reason.
I have just been struggling the last month or so to let got chisel me. I am an open vessel and sometimes I have a hard time letting go and letting God.
Please keep me in your prayers for strength as a mother. I want to please God in my actions but feel often that my lack of patience fails his wishes.
All I know to do is just bow my head and one more time ask for forgiveness again and say yet one more time God allow me one more chance to please you.
Again thank you so much for your post!
Like I always say, my kids are the path to my santification. God in his infinite love and wisdom granted me the gift of becoming a mother. I pray that the task set for me is pleasing to Him and that jus glorified by my work daily.
I’m in tears. I thank you for letting God use you to bless His people. May He continue to use you for His Glory and Honor!
Beautiful and encouraging.
We’ll written. I focus on the challenges experienced by moms working outside the home. However, your piece reminded me that motherhood itself is a combination of trials and triumphs.
Chaton, thank you for your comment! I just wrote on the topic of stay-at-home moms and working moms on the blog today. Go to the homepage to read that piece if you’re interested.
Absolutely beautiful… encouraging busy mommy’s everywhere. Definitely blessed my soul. Thank you.
http://capturinginspirations.com
Hands down the most BEAUTIFUL blog post on motherhood I’ve ever read. It blessed me immensely . THANK YOU!
I appreciate this post and think it was beautifully put but imagine doing all of that and then on top of it being a working Mom and at the same time being a single Mom and doing it all alone.
Healing balm to my spirit! Thank you so much and God bless!
I just cried all my makeup off and thought why do I even put on makeup? No one ever sees me! I’m home alone most of the time, yet, I still have the desire to “be seen”. I guess it is ego and our inherent need for recognition. Yesterday, I yelled at my husband BC he didn’t call to “see” how I’m doing(I’m 32 weeks pregnant) w 2 more at home. I said “I just need to know you Care.” But, what I really want is for him to “see” me. To “see” my struggles, to “see” all the things I’ve had to give up…career, fame, fortune(lol!) my own life…to be a mother. It is un applauded, un seen, un recognized, VERY hard work. I’m ashamed to admit, I resent it many days, but, I never thought that though the world may not “see” me, or recognize me, my God does! And so, I AM being seen by the most important, influential person in the world! GOD! Thank u. I needed that!
I needed this right now. In this very moment. Thank you.
Reblogged this on thisischristine.com and commented:
I just loved this. El Roi. The God who sees.
The depths to which my soul needed these words at this very moment are unimaginable. As a mother to 2 adopted teenage boys ages 14 & 18, life is bittersweet at the moment. I have the privilege to witness their final days as children and move on into adulthood. This process is soul crushing and life affirming at the same time.
I need to read this 50 times a day right now, if I had time of course. I’ve been feeling this way for a while. Think you.
It is always a little disturbing to see that in all of society, only primary parents (whether stay-at-home or the main parent who works outside the home) are expected to do their job with, let us be honest, little to no human support or understanding.
Your column was a wonderful recognition of the work mothers do, and it is not selfish to want one’s hard work to be visible, appreciated and respected rather than invisible, unappreciated and disrespected, as it often is. It is true that mothers (and primary-parent fathers) must get their needs met only from God at an extensive level, because other humans, including many spouses, don’t understand and don’t truly want to understand how hard the job is.
If you are the parent described in this column, please know that there *are* those of us who see you and appreciate your work, even if we’re not in your everyday. And please don’t feel you’re being “selfish” when you need time to yourself, regular time off, and other outlets for your talents. You’re not being selfish. You’re a whole person, and while your life may be mostly just parenting for awhile, you’re still a whole person and need to have outlets and some balance and support. That’s not selfish–God created us to be interdependent and to have several gifts/talents/interests, sometimes many of them in one person.
Do rely heavily on God, and do take action to see that you have some support so that you can be a good parent and an emotionally healthy person. Thank you so much for doing what you do. You should be paid more than sports figures and movie stars! God honors your mission and loves you and knows you.
What encouraging thoughts, Zoe! Thank you!
“not in your everyday *life” that is. 🙂
Thanks for the sharing. It encourages me…God bless.
Wow, this encouraged me tonight. Someone posted it on facebook and there it was…it was beautifully written and dead-on accurate. We have a high calling in motherhood. I’ve been doing it 29 years and with a large number of children. Tonight, my husband and I were to go out to a local diner type restaurant and have a hamburger together and discuss an important topic. I showered, washed my hair, curled my hair, put on make-up, ironed a blouse to wear, and anticipated our time out for a bit together…but alas, the weather was horrible and we didn’t think it wise to leave the children – nor for us to be on the road, so we stayed home. I had the thought, “What does one do when the beloved ‘date time’ is cancelled and what you’d like to do is sit down and have a good cry?” Well, of course, one pulls that hamburger out of the freezer and makes the family a Shepherd’s Pie with love, and knows that the right thing was done! 🙂
And then God gives a sweet little article like this one, to make me realize the VALUE once again of motherhood and that of being a sweet, contented WIFE right along with it. Thanks, you made my evening! (and I’m sure my family’s evening as well). 😉 God bless you.
I was scrubbing the counters, feeding the cats, filling the sippy cup with milk, matching the socks, scrubbing the toothpaste off the bathroom mirror and the stains out of a spit up stained tiny tee shirt and feeling really sorry for myself. I told myself that my life was made up of mundane tasks that no one cared about but myself and I felt myself despairing. To despair is to turn your back on God. Thank you for reminding me. It moved me to tears.
I couldn’t help but notice the Anne of Green Gables quote!
Reblogged this on Happily Ever After and commented:
Very lovely post to remember about motherhood. 🙂
Thank you for that.
I sense that most of the mothers here are young. These are beautiful and meaningful words that have been shared. They are necessary, because one day these mothers will become older mothers and grandmothers. In families where a mother is respected, revered, and appreciated, especially by a spouse (which is imperative), it is less stressful, and the self-esteem is raised in a woman who had laid down her life and done all she can, as best she can to nurture, protect, defend, and care for her family. As a grandmother, I can honestly say from experience, that no amount of praising, romance, date nights, validation and acknowledgment can be overdone, as far as I am concerned when it comes to the role of a husband. We know that God wants mothers to respect and appreciate, as well as validate their husbands and fathers, as well. From my experience, there are no guarantees about life, how children will turn out, even though you set goals, give it all you have, and do the best you can. Sometimes life can get messy, children grow up and make wrong choices, and even have unpleasant situations that will strike you in your mind and spirit in a way that you never imagined possible. I say this from experienced, and from a heart that has been wounded time and time again. There are some situations that you never dreamed you would be forced to face. This is when the practice of humbling yourself before God, laying your burdens on his shoulders, laying your head on his chest, and becoming as a child will be the thing you can do to carry you through the storms that may be raging all around you. When you don’t know what to do, you don’t know what to say, and you don’t even know how to pray, just speak the Name of Jesus…..Say the Name of Jesus. He will calm your fear, and at times, dry you tears, strengthen you with the right hand of his righteousness. His Name is a strong tower that you can run into and be safe. I would admonish you to take the sixth chapter of Ephesians, chapter 6. This seems like a heavy passage, but the truth is that our battle is not against flesh and blood. We move past the five physical senses to go to spiritual battle for ourselves and our families. We weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but might through God to the pulling down of stronghold. I say these things, my precious mothers and sisters, because we cannot see ahead……maybe sometimes a little, but not the bigger picture. God does see it, however, and when we lose our way at times when our plates become overloaded, our hearts become heavy, He is our ever-preset, all-knowing, and all-powerful God, who inhabits the praises of his people. When we begin to praise Him for all he does for us, from our socks, to our food, to our beds, our water, electricity, our children, our husbands, on and on,…..just like Paul & Silas, who were i prison, and began to sing praises to the Lord at midnight began to life their voices i praise to God, their chains fell off. There was a release…..There was movement, and trust me, as time moves on, you will need times for chains to fall off. They may be chains of fear, doubt, being abused, having a broken heart, not being cherished, disrespected, ignored, feeling unappreciated……In these times we must practice looking to the hills where our help comes from……It comes from the Lord, who sees it all, who keeps your tears in bottles, who knows the number of hairs on your hear, who sees when a little sparrow falls. He knows every time that you are neglected or unappreciated; however, He will arise with healing in his wings. He will dispatch his angels to minister to your needs when we humble ourselves under His mighty hand, that He may exalt us in due season. He asks us to never lose hope. He tells us that every time we fall, to get back up. He remembers that we are but dust, that our lives do not consist of the things we possess, but they consist of our willingness to put our faith and trust in Him, and to humble ourselves under His mighty hand, that he will come through for us. The Name of the Lord is a strong tower. The righteous run in to it and are safe. When our enemies come in like a flood, the Spirit of the Lord will raise standard against them. I believe sincerely, that every mother, woman, step-mom, surrogate parent, those who serve in any capacity will need this strength, this knowledge, this wisdom, combined with lot of prayer to win the battle…..to be over comers in this life. Many days we will try to reason and find logical answers to our challenges, but they will not be found. We will have to dig for God’s wisdom, like hidden treasure. When you search the Lord with al of your heart, when you find Him……you will feel the elation that comes from knowing that you are not alone, and He has promised to teach your hands to war and your fingers to fight There will come a day that you, as a diamond in the rough will begin to sparkle, no matter what is going on around you, So keep the faith, hold on and cling to what is good. Remain teachable throughout your journey, and when you find that you can no longer control your children, their decisions, or physically protect them, you will know where to run……to the solid rock, the bright and morning start, the One is is near to the brokenhearted, the one who brought you out from the miry clay time ad time again. He will always be there when all else fails. He will make a way when there seems to be no way. When you draw near to Him, He will draw near to you.
Remember. Nothing can separate you from love of God. Nothing! And no one will be able to pluck you out of his hands. You can take that to the bank!
Wow! In stark contrast to the Olympics which feature men and women focusing on doing one thing well for all the best years of their lives, then giving all the admiration and attention to them, motherhood doesn’t get much press. Just another example of the “world’s” priorities being very different and opposite of God’s priorities. El Roi, how appropriate for motherhood. God bless the faithful mothers who have the servant attitude that our Lord modeled for us on this earth, and God bless you for describing so elequenty God’s priority on this high calling.
This is so beautiful, thank you for sharing.
This is beautiful! It moved me tears. I read it on a day when I was feeling so bad and thinking that I’m doing a poor job at being a mother to my kids. I felt God’s compassion as I read your post. Thank you for being His instrument.
I just want to share with you a blog post I wrote after I read this beautiful post from you. http://mommytg.blogspot.com/2014/02/experiencing-gods-compassion-even-when.html?showComment=1393216121576#c104399735445481957
Thank you for this. I truly needed a change in how I look at things at times. It is amazing how you captured the roller coaster of emotions that I go through as a stay-at-home mom and I do agree with other comments that this applies to stay-at-home dads as well. This has blessed my Spirit tremendously!
Thank you for your beautiful sentiments. I have often felt like I am in the trenches of motherhood, but occasionally am lifted out by the slobbery kisses and moments of pure joy. I write about my experiences at http://twodozencookies.blogspot.com. Feel free to stop by
This was encouraging for me to read as a reminder of how to slow down and take being a mother all in and appreciate this blessing. I forget and become overwhelmed sometimes with the frustrations and craziness of every day life. I am a working mom and I have a 23, 14 and 6 month old. My current husband did not have any children so we had our little girl. I am beyond blessed with an amazing man that helps, appreciates and is completely in love with his little girl. We are privileged that we do not have to put our little one in daycare. We both alternate our schedules and work from home to be with our baby all the time. Sometimes that becomes overwhelming on us. Reading this was a reminder that YES being a mother is hard and dirty work but the reward is so worth it and those “mommy I love you” are the most sincere words we will ever hear 🙂
As a single, working mom who used to be a full-time stay-at-home mom I often struggle. I struggle with the feeling of being overwhelmed, the feelings of guilt that I used to be able to be there and now I can’t, the physical exhaustion. Sometimes yes, it’s that job that no one pats you on the back for when you get up in the middle of the night and deal with pee soaked sheets, and you pack three lunches before the sun comes up and you do two loads of laundry before the bus and yet you still manage to make it to work on time. You wonder does anyone really know or appreciate what I do day in and day out? Of course we imperfect human beings forget that HE knows and every once in a while we need that gentle reminder of why we keep at it. Thank you today for the gentle reminder.
So crying during your 16yo sons weightlifting meet is acceptable right?
El roi is my one of my fave God reminders. Especially on days my strong willed toddler is exploding through the house like a blender with the lid off.
Thanks for this blog xoxox
I am a grandmother and recently retired. I do remember the days when the kids were small and I was a stay at home mom. Nothing has changed since then. I am thankful for the moms or dads who are in a position to be able to do this. I was able to stay home and care for our kids. But everything you have written is so true and worthy to be passed along to others. Thank you for the encouragement you have shared! I am going to pass this along to all my friends and families. God bless you! Parents need to be recognized and appreciated!
….and the greatest among you shall be the servant. He indeed does see!
This was amazing! Thank you! My heart has been encouraged greatly…. thank you!
Thank you. I wept. Not because of sadness, but because I have never seen it put so elequently, how my life is, as well as other moms out there. I don’t feel so alone or that no one else gets it. Thank you for sharing this with the world. God Bless.
..wow…this is me….no one sees our cares…alone in this desert of mothering..in the trenches they say….getting into the hot shower after an especially long trying day,, letting the hot water wash over me while I cry..sob.. hot tears of failure, discouragement, regrets, repentance, wanting to start all over..do things different, respond in a sweeter tone, be more merciful, patient, tender, but the thought of how God saw Hagar… how comforting,, I know God’s good and cares,,
Eve, and all the other women who’ve commented… thank you for your words and vulnerability. It is so nice to not be alone. I’m so grateful for the women who blog, comment and encourage as we forge ahead together, knowing our Father cares. Bless you all!
Reblogged this on yellowcarriage and commented:
Love this. Truly heartwarming, and reassuring.
Your words were a beautiful motherhood trophy – it felt as if you were giving each mommy a ribbon for hard work done & for that I thank you! Personally and deeply, I would have love to see a more wider diverse of infant nationalities represented. An Asian baby, an African American baby to represent other moms.
It looks to me like these are all picture of her own baby…?
Why does it matter what colour the babies skin is? The pictures are not essential to the content of the post. The words are beautiful, they mean a lot to all mothers all over the world. The pictures, while beautiful too, don’t mean anything, don’t add anything to what the poster wanted to convey with her words. They are merely there to add a break to the post. Just because the baby has white skin doesn’t mean that this post isn’t meant for African or Asian mothers.
I agree.. this post is beautiful and obviously meant for ALL Mothers!!
Thank-you for your beautiful words, and the inspiration for my latest blog post. Head on over if you are interested: http://when-life-gives-you-lyme.blogspot.ca/2014/02/to-mom-in-bed-who-no-one-sees.html
I have linked back to your blog for others to read as well!
God bless 🙂
I have failed God…..I did all of these things, yet my eyes and heart weren’t opened as my children were growing as they should have been. I wasn’t consistent with teaching of God to them. I over mothered my son, and now he is so lost. They are all grown and have children of their own now. God, forgive me……..
You are forgiven. We do not know why our children sometimes choose to learn what appears to be the hard way, or if we are looking at it as the hard way and making it harder for them, but what we do know is that we are too close to see the bigger picture and the lessons they need to learn are their lessons. You did what you did out of love and love is never wrong.
There is still hope for your son….praying for you sis….don’t underestimate the power of a praying Mom.
From a 60-year=old Mom and Granny, thank you for your beautiful words. Looking back, I know that God and my Blessed Savior were with me every mile of the way. Thank You.
This is great! Thanks for sharing!!
Brings tears to my eyes! So timely!
Thank you for this post! As a mother of 4 I really needed to hear this today. I really appreciated what you said about everything we do being an act of worship. That is a great reminder for me to have as I go through each day!
Someone understands. Wow I needed this. Such truth and encouragement. Im crying tears of relief! Thank you so much for this!
i was sitting feeling very defeated raising three children alone feeling like i was on an island all by myself I wondered what my purpose is that i cant possibly be living up to what GOD wants me to do and searching for an answer to fulfill my purpose here .. as i was on the verge of a serious melt down with tears in my eyes i stumbled on this on a friends facebook page and it made everything clear… i am fulfilling my purpose I am A MOM. I tend to my childrens every needs including alot of spiritual conversations and prayer I do have a purpose I am being appreciated for what i do.. and all though my kids dont say it often i know they appreciate what i do for them and most of all what im doing is pleasing GOD … I may slip up from time to time but its ok im human and from this I know I am not alone.. so thank you I sooooo needed this!!!
Be encouraged to know that our loving Lord has the future of your children in HIS HANDS. The testimony of a mom that prays will bless you in ways that you will eventually see modeled in your . children. Press on and cling to the promises of our Lord. The prayer that you whisper in your mind, ” Oh Lord help me to counsel with godly wisdom”. When your children see our imperfections and yet press on while pressing into the Lord, the blessing will come. The greatest thanks you mayl eventually receive is that of your children seeking to walk with the Lord. As a mother with young adults the 27 years flew by and what speaks to them is the example of being faithful to the task of the day.
What a great reply! 🙂 Thank you so very much. It gives me a little hope. I am the mom of a 27 year old daughter, who is married and a mom, carrying on with life by the grace of God, and a 17 year old daughter who is soon to graduate from high school. Ours is, sadly, a strained relationship. What positive, good, true thoughts you have shared here. God continue to bless you richly!
As a first time, still new mother, i thank you for this. Its one of the most beautiful things i have ever read. Giving me faith, hope, strength, and courage in being the mother that i pray to always be.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. These words were a salve to my soul. God’s timing is impeccable, as I sit here feeling exhausted, disheartened, frustrated, angry, broken. I am a mother of two and I hold a full-time + job, and I cry almost daily wondering why I keep making the same mistakes, how much longer I can go on line this, and does God see any of this. And of course there’s the ever present voice that says “what about me”? So thank you again, I just felt my heart start to beat a little stronger.
This is beautiful. It gives me goosebumps and chills. Thank you for taking the time to write it. 🙂
Thank you… someone sent me this today after I blogged my trials 🙂 – made me cry. I needed it tho…. –
Thanks. For myself, it’s specifically “does my *husband* see?” On top of all the household chores there’s the children and the homeschooling, and then my part time job. I feel like I’m being asked to give 110% every week but that surplus had to come out of next weeks total. Now I only have 90% to give but I still must give 110%. Eventually this mathematical impossibility will lead to an utter failure. I’m so tired.
I have been married for a year and am now a new mommy of a one month old son, Ethan James is such a precious gift from the Lord. This post was very encouraging. Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts. I had struggled to get my little son to nurse and finally stopped trying as my milk supply was getting less and less due to how Ethan wouldn’t nurse, I tried to pump but never experienced a full let down, so now I have him on formula. It was like the saying goes, you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink. The devil wanted me to think I had failed my son when I couldn’t nurse him, but I was encouraged by my Husband to not believe that lie. So anyways…Ethan is a great teacher for his new Mommy and Daddy, we have lots to learn yet as now we are not only Husband and Wife but Parent’s as well, may God give us much wisdom.
wow, this is absolutely beautiful! Thank you for starting my morning today with such encouragement.
Hi Shalene, thank you so much for this beautiful writing on motherhood. It moved me to tears and when I felt discouraged and all alone by myself, I will come back to this page and read it again. I believe that God has brought me to your blog. What you have written is exactly what I have been thinking and struggling as a mum. The word that really hits me is “service of motherhood – dying to oneself to tend to the needs of your children”. Keep up the good work and God bless you! Once again, a BIG THANK YOU.
This post right here really really hit home had me in tears, and please let me tell you why..I have one child only and he’s just becoming a kid. My sons name is Nathaniel Ray Rizo, his birthday is December 22nd 2010. He’s 3 and has a speech delay and many autistic tendencies as well as characteristics and behaviors. I’m actually waiting for our appointment as we speak (which is months away). I’m a single Mom and I love my son more than life itself! I’m the only one he’s got his Dad has been in & out of prison since our son was 4mo old & just went back in November in county jail waiting to go to prison facing 10-15 years. We haven’t been together since I was 8mo pregnant due to his selflessness and selfish actions. It gets really overwhelming for me at times and I break down and cry a lot going on being a single Mom doing everything on your own he will never know his Dad & that’s probably the best thing for him. But the hurt and pain he’s going to go through over these years worries me. We have no car, I work but don’t make enough to get us one and try to provide for my baby boy the best I can he comes first before anything or anyone always has always will. I do feel as though no one sees me raising him, no one praises me for the little boy he’s becoming without a father. I feel as I’m doing a great job and he does too (my son) I love waking up to his sweet kisses every morning. The way he looks at me and hugs me so right is the best feeling in the world! It’s hard but we make it work and our love keeps us strong for each other and the bond only grows more and more each day and is such a incredible bond! Thank you do much for this post!!! Needed this!! 🙂
Thanks for posting this. A friend in my women’s Bible study forwarded it to us. We are all participating in a moms Bible study called “Entrusted With a Child’s Heart”. This speaks so transparently to what we all go through on this difficult, yet joyous journey of motherhood! May He continue to use you to encourage others for HIS kingdom!
I wish I would have known this when I was a young mother, back in the day before Facebook and blogs. I felt very alone in my struggles and it would have provided the moral support I so desperately needed. Support is as near as your laptop. This is wonderful.
In need of a little encouragement, I googled “mothering is hard” and found this post. Tears ran down my face as I read and saw myself in your writing. It really is a daily death to self to put others first. I appreciate your words. Thank you!
With my husband, (whom is a blessing from above) I am raising my 4 yr old and 2 yr old grandsons, and we both work fulltime. Thank you cause these words were such a comfort and truly come from a person with tremendous faith and such a gift of words from God, thank you again
My precious daughter does all of these thankless mothering tasks without complaint and then she packs it up and teaches music to over 900 children in public school Moms are moms whether they stay at home all day or whether they also labor in the workforce. All of the thankless jobs are still there. No one sees how hard it is. And in the Christian community the working mom is often looked down on as someone who is “less than.” I applaud all of those working moms who do everything to mother their children in a nurturing and loving way — and still know that they must get up and go to work as well. The challenges are sometimes seemingly unsurmoutable — and really only possible with God’s help. Come on — Christian moms! Learn to be a sisterhood of support for ALL moms,
Martha, I absolutely agree! This post was never meant to indicate that only stay at homes do the hard work. (I’ve stated that a few times here in comments) Unfortunately, some have taken it that way, but that was not my heart. Working or stay-at-home, it’s a hard job nonetheless, and God sees the sacrifices of ALL moms!
I love your blog! A friend recently introduced me to it when I was 9 months pregnant. I have an 8 week old now and find alot of spiritual encouragement through what you write, so thank you! 🙂 I look forward to reading more!
You may have seen this video before, but if not, it’s very fitting for this blog post. Enjoy!
http://youtu.be/HB3xM93rXbY
Kelly
Reblogged this on .
I just wanted you to know that I saved this article months ago to a folder in my Bookmarks called “Good Mom Reads.” There are always several “for the mom who…” articles floating around on Facebook so I never really even click on them anymore. But I had saved yours. And today I needed to be fed by the spirit. My house is overwhelming, my kids are out of control, my spirit is just drowning… And your words have been like water to me after a marathon in a desert. Thank you. Thank you so very much.
This spoke so sweetly to my heart, as I am a mommie of 3. One who is 10, he’s a quiet, very respectful ,loving, gentle & observant one. One extremely active , lovable “super hero jammie wearing 6 yrd old lil guy, & last but CERTAINLY not least;a 4 year old angel girl…..or sassy pants, or ballerina, or “dinomite in a small patite package” princerella. Such an awesome encouraging written piece. This touched on everything we as mothers feel♡
Nice reminder, as a stay at home mom God sees and blesses me. I’m acknowledged and Gods always with me. These countless acts will not be in vain and fruit will come from my diligence and persistence. Just a reminder of the memory verse my children are memorizing now; 1cor 10:31
“What ever you do, do so all for the glory of God”
Reblogged this on lessons in mercy and commented:
This calling of motherhood is a service unlike anything else, where the privilege of giving life is tempered by a daily dying to self.
This is an excellent article. We don’t appreciate all that a mother does for her children and her husband. When my son was young and when we had foster children, I helped with changing diapers, cleaning up messes, and all the rest. It’s a sad day when a so called dad cannot or will not help take care of the children. He’s part of the reason the children are here so he should do his part in their daily care.
Wow!! I needed this today! This week has been extremely challenging for me. I’m a stay at home mom of 3 kids 3 and under. We were hit with about 2 ft of snow last week which has kept me inside and to top it off my youngest too have been battling horrible colds which has left them cranky, clingy, and miserable.
I have been trying to stay positive all week but the last two days have been the worst. It’s so difficult not to feel so incredibly alone, and even sometimes useless. I know that God loves me and I know there is great purpose in the season of life that I’m in now, however it can be hard to remember that. Thank you so much for reminding me just how important my everyday role is to the future of my kids and that God sees everything and know exactly how I feel. Quite honestly, that’s all that matters-that God knows. Thanks for keeping things in perspective. God knew I needed to hear/see this today! God Bless! -Andrea-
These winter months bring a lot of challenges but we as Mom’s are the glue that holds everone and everything together.. I have 2 under 2yrs so I can relate.. idk how you do 3 under 3.. keep your head up Mama.. you got this!!!!❤
Mine own children are grown, but I still remember those days…. What a beautiful article of encouragement for moms of young children. I especially liked this: “He SEES you. And He whispers to the depths of your tender, parched soul: see this hard stuff? This laying down of your life for the children I’ve gifted you? This is worship in action.” Beautiful. Thank you.
I could list a hundred reasons why I needed this today…. Just wanted to say thank you for sharing. Blessings~Jenny
Thank you for your comment! I’m so glad it blessed you!
You have no idea how much I need to read this today..and everyday. Mothering is a thankless job at times..being paid in hugs and kisses is only half of it.. It is always so nice to hear a compliment related to being a mother. When noone sees all the work that goes into being a Mother.. God sees us!# Always! Thank you for writing and posting this.. from the bottom of my heart.. Thank you!!❤❤
Thank you, Misty, for taking the time to comment! It doesn’t heart such good to hear words of appreciation!
Thanks for including the peed in sheets. I think it’s my most invisible job. Definitely one of my most patience trying.
As an “older” mom- with both my kids grown and married- I can say this is spot on and in hindsight- if we could only appreciate the days we have these precious little ones in our care! I miss the days you write of! I miss them now that I can never experience them again. If only we could realize it when we’ve wiped the last nose or made the last school lunch! We would bawl- I know- but it would give us a better appreciation for the seemingly mundane tasks of motherhood. Nothing a mother does is wasted! God has blessed us with our calling of motherhood. As a new Mimi- I am able to impart this wisdom to my daughter- hang on to each moment and pause in the midst of chaos to relish your blessings!! It passes so very quickly. God bless all the mommys out there 🙂
Thank you so much for sharing, Deborah! I am a Mimi now, too – to a 3 year old boy and a 10 month old boy – so blessed. We don’t live in the same state. I really appreciate your statement, “Nothing a mother does is wasted!” I have regrets that I am trying to put behind. Now we Mimis must cherish the moments with our kids and grandkids. That will go by all too quickly, too. 🙂 My daughters are growing in the Lord, and that is such a blessing. May God continue to bless you richly.
I raised three boys ,18 months apart.I remember feeling so overwhelmed at times. Your posts are so real and I’m sure comforting to many mothers. Your words inspire me.
I’m now a grandmother of three. I work outside the home, have two dogs, help care for our five month old grandson , and five year old granddaughter . (Babysit two days )
I’m so thankful for being a small part in the lives of the “next generation” . This article touched my heart. I can still relate , I know the time spent with a child is our highest calling .
This article was so touching. This is my life, the one you spoke of, and I needed that great reminder “…this is worship in action.” May I remember to do each of the mundane tasks as though unto Him!
Yesterday I had a nervous breakdown in the car (passenger) in front of my husband and 3 kids. We have been through alot lately and my two daughters are acting out horribly so im just tired of my job as a stay at home mom. I was having a bad day and to top it off when the girls were acting up and the baby is crying my husband says, “I wish I was at work today”. That was it! We all got in the car to go home and I just felt horrible. I still do. Im still crying about it and then came across your article. My soul needed this confirmation! Thank you for reminding me of God’s love and faithfulness in times like this.
I’m so sorry! I’m glad this post encouraged you, and I do pray you are able to find some respite from all the demands. May God meet you right where you are today!
Thank you. These words continue to water thirsty hearts. Today, it was mine.
Just……. THANK YOU ❤️
I so desperately needed to hear this today! Thank you for writing such beautiful true words! At 34 weeks pregnant with a sick 1.5
Yr old I’m at my wits end this week. I now have the strength to mentally make it a little longer!
Thank you for this!!! <3
Thank you.
Hi! Is there any way I can contact you by email? I can’t find an adress, can you send me yours? Thanks! Stefanie
Sure! My email is Shalene@shaleneroberts.com.
This is a beautifully written article! I have very often felt this way…alone…with three little children 21 months apart (5,3,1.5). I found out today about your blog through your mother. I was dropping my kids off at Sunday school where she volunteers and she said I should read your blog. I just got home and looked it up. I can tell I am going to love it! Thank you for taking out the time to share from your heart to encourage us Mama’s. It means the world! Blessings to you and your precious family! Sarah, Springfield MO