Eight More Weeks

It comes in waves. Sometimes I’m excited for the next step. This phase after the senior year. I see his anticipation for what lies ahead. The opportunities. The growth. The change.

And then something will spark a shift, and it all comes crashing down.

An e mail from a college.
A graduation reminder.
A date on the calendar.

I was putting our girls down for bed last night when my phone dinged. I glanced at it:
“8 more weeks.” That was all it said. It didn’t need to say more. I knew immediately.

I opened the text, and a picture flashed before my eyes. Two boys. Easy-going. Grins alight on their faces. One has his arm slung around the other. They look like they have the whole world before them. In truth, they do. It’s their senior year, and so much lies ahead.

And I can’t look at it without crying.

For twelve years these two have been best friends. Since first grade, they’ve shouldered one another’s burdens and shared their joys. They’ve walked the same school halls and trudged through the same tests. They’ve supported each other on the basketball court and backed one another up on the baseball field. As iron sharpens iron, their lives have been shaped by one another.

And in just eight weeks, that chapter closes.

I want to bottle every moment between now and then. Grab hold of time and will it to slow down. I need to catch my breath. I need to figure out how to carry something that feels like both sadness and joy in equal measure. I don’t know how to hold that.

But maybe that’s just it … maybe I can’t hold it. Maybe this has always been about surrender.
This motherhood role.
These kids.
This beautiful, bittersweet moment.
This right next step.
This ending.
This new beginning.
This heartache.
This joy.

Truth be told, I’ve always known that. But right now I feel it more keenly than ever. Eight more weeks.

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